Reflections Control Top
What do you think of my lyrics?
I thought i was build able to talk
I thought ,y mind was indeed locked
Now i find my self
In front of my reflection at last
And all I see
Is a little girl
With the eyes of a baby
Not that i didn't know
That my emotions would be
Out if control
But the angst in me, didn't let me see
Farther than everybody believes
Chorus:
P1:That side of me
That shell of my identity
Has come to haunt us
And it doesn't have any remedies
P2:That side of me
That shell of my identity
Is now here to stay
Someone please
Take it away
Completely raped in front of her
My eyes would turn around
Fasing nothing but the ground
It's that act of shame
Of not being at the top of my games
And all i do is Surrender, Surrender
Chorus
Just give it back
Just give me my stong side back
Take nothing from me
Cause seriously
Trust me
All that that belongs to me
Is haunted by memories
Chorus
Chorus( P2, Slowly)
I'm 14 btw.
I'm going to be a bit nicer than the previous posters.
Firstly, I like the general idea. The idea behind it is good for a 14 year old, but you need to work on your wording, vocabulary, spelling and grammar to get that across properly.
Okay, so.
"I thought i was build able to talk
I thought ,y mind was indeed locked"
This doesn't make sense. Try something like;
"I thought I was built with the ability to talk
I thought I had the freedom to walk"
Just gonna fix some spelling/grammar mistakes in the next bit;
"now I find myself
In front of my reflection
nd all I see
Is a little girl
with the eyes of a baby.
Not that I didn't know
that my emotions would be
out of control,
but the angst in me didn't let me see
farther than others perceive"
Sorry, I changed the last line.
Okay, next stanza. I'm just gonna change a few things here too;
"Chorus:
P1:That side of me
that shell of my identity
has come to haunt us
with its melody.
P2:That side of me
that shell of my identity
is now here to stay
someone please
take it away"
And the last part;
"Completely raped in front of her
my eyes would turn around
facing nothing but the ground.
It's that act of shame
of not being at the top of my game
and all I do is surrender,
surrender.
Chorus
Just give it back
give me my stung side back,
take nothing from me
cause honestly
all that that belongs to me
Is haunted by memories
Chorus
Chorus( P2, Slowly)"
Overall, it's good. You just need to be careful with your spelling and grammar, as well as not making your rhyme seem forced. I haven't changed much because I wanted to keep your "style" on it and not my own since it's not mine. Generally, I like the idea and think this would make a good song. 
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